Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
