I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
