Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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