hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
