I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
