Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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