garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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