Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
