Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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