I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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