Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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