does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
