I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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