could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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