I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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