is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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