Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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