oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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