I need to stop coming to work sober
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
