This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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