I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
