It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
