Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
