The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he puts the penis in happiness.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
