Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
