I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
