weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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