First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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