remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
