I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
