in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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