PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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