It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize