YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
