I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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