Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
