i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
