Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
