I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
