I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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