i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
