he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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