Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you still have your period?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
