This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
