You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
