Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
