Acid is not a monday night drug
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
is it fun? or sober?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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