My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
