It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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