Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
