Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
