Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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