wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
