"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think my vagina is haunted
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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